Christmas in an inside job

Healing the Holidays: Why Christmas Felt Empty (And How I Finally Found Joy)

If you're reading this on Christmas Day—or any holiday that stirs up a quiet ache in your chest—know that you're not alone. This post is for you, the one who smiles through the festivities but feels a deep sadness underneath. The one who wonders why, despite the lights, the gifts, and the loved ones, something still feels missing.

Before I discovered Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), most of my childhood was a blur, foggy, confusing, and locked away. I couldn't pinpoint why, but holidays like Christmas always left me feeling profoundly unhappy. Even as an adult, that sadness lingered.

When my daughter came along, I was determined to give her the magical memories I never had. We started traditions: decorating the Christmas tree together, hosting lunches with family and friends, filling the house with laughter and lights.

But deep down? I wasn't truly happy. Christmas triggered waves of unexplained grief. I'd be surrounded by people I loved, yet feel utterly alone, bracing for the inevitable disappointment.

Then came my first RTT session. Everything shifted. Memories I'd buried deep in my subconscious began to surface gently but clearly. I realized Christmas in my childhood home was never about joy. It was drama time. If you've grown up with a toxic or immature parent, you know exactly what I mean: the outbursts, the attention-seeking, the way one person's chaos could derail the entire day.

From a young age, my little brain learned that true celebration wasn't safe or available to me. Holidays meant hypervigilance, always scanning, waiting for something bad to happen. And when those old triggers fired, I wasn't responding as my adult self; I was reacting from the age the pain first took root, that scared, confused child.

RTT didn't just uncover these patterns; it helped me rewrite them. It rewired my subconscious, turning what felt unfamiliar and scary (real peace, presence, and joy) into something familiar and safe.

As I healed, something beautiful happened. I started creating new memories—not just for my daughter, but for my inner child too. And here's the profound truth I discovered: Christmas is an inside job.

You can have the perfect tree, the table full of loved ones, all the money and presents in the world... but if that wounded inner child is still carrying unhealed pain, you'll always feel like something's missing. You'll pretend to be merry, force the smiles, and wonder why it doesn't land.

I'm sharing this with you because I know how exhausting it is to deny your pain. Pretending you're "fine" when you're not, to keep the peace or fit the holiday script, only buries it deeper, creating more ache.

Today, give yourself permission to stop pretending. Feel the sadness if it comes. Honor that younger version of you who deserved better. Healing isn't about erasing the past; it's about integrating it with love, so you can finally step into the joy that's waiting for you.

If this resonates, know that change is possible. I've lived it—and now, holidays feel warm, present, and truly mine.

Wishing you a gentle, healing Christmas filled with the peace you deserve. You're worthy of real joy.

With love, Michele

P.S. If you're ready to explore RTT and heal your own holiday triggers (or any patterns holding you back), reach out, I'm here to guide you. 💕